Coffee Table of the Gods

Date: 2011-07-21, 1:18AM CDT

This coffee table is perfect for someone with a cocaine habit or shooting a porno movie.
As you can see from the photo, the majestic beauty of this coffee table rivals earthly treasures such as: the color of the sky at sunset, the laughter of a small child, and infidelity.

Qualities of the table:
-Carpeted
-Mirrored
-The muthertrucker spins
-Doesn’t have any weird splotches under black lights

Due to the assumed large demand for this table, all inquirers will be subjected to a quiz to determine their level of badass-ity.

The price of the table is firm: $7.83, four cans of Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli, and a framed photo of Betty White.

Location: Minneapolis